|
|
|
June 2nd, 2012
02:51 pm - A Dance with Dragons by George R. R. Martin
Spoilers, of course.
Yes, I dutifully read 1000 pages of the fifth book in an (allegedly) seven-book series without having read any of the others. Which makes me a perfect person to read this book for the Hugo Awards - It's an award for the best novel published in 2011 and a book ought to stand or fall on what's actually in the book. Not how much you like the series or the TV show or how you like bearded men in hats. Just what's in this book, this year and nothing else.
Unfortunately, A Dance with Dragons is a failure judged on that basis. It isn't a novel in any real sense. It's just a bunch of stuff that happens with no climax or resolution - a chunk of story ripped from a much larger work.
There are something like 20 POV characters, some of whom are basically making cameos. There's a lot of storylines that show up, make a tiny little bit progress in the overall arc and then get dropped. I expect I was meant to care about Arya's adventures with assassination cults, but since I knew nothing about her, I didn't. And out of the five or so characters who make up the bulk of the story, none of them have a complete story arc, so it was a lot like watching the middle 20 minutes of a movie.
I pretty much hated all the main characters. Tyrion? We meet him when he's reminiscing about rapes past and then threatens to strangle a woman he plans to rape later. He's a real charmer. Dany? She spends most of the book moaning about her dead husband and her live husband and her dead baby and how governing people is hard. Jon Snow? Well he didn't seem so bad at first but he goes on and on about how he can't break his vows while breaking his vows. I thought his stabbing at the end was well deserved.
It's a readable book, but far too long. Martin spends a lot of time having characters remember things that happened in other books, which is really quite dull way to present that sort of thing (and I always find it really tedious when authors spend a lot of time recapping what happened before) so he could have dropped huge chunks of text if he'd just assumed that people could remember what happened before.
I see some of the appeal - I enjoyed the twisty Machiavellian politics of it, but since I didn't really know or care about any of the characters, I couldn't give a fuck who sits on the Iron Throne.
Even if I hadn't found it racist and misogynistic it would be appearing below No Award on my ballot for not being a novel.
|
01:01 pm - Public Service Announcement
I can only imagine how it went:
George R. R. Martin huddled over his manuscript making final edits when he came to a horrible realization. My God, I've used "whore" a mere 140 times. That's not nearly grimdark enough. He despaired at being able to fix the book, but he knew his fans were depending on him.
Then she jumped on his desk, scattering pages of his manuscript all over the floor. His cat was a selfish bitch. She ignored his needs and demanded to be petted despite the mess she'd made. Always wanting to be fed, always wanting to be petted, by anyone at all. He'd even seen the neighbors petting her!
"Whore," he said. "You're just a whore. None of the neighbors would look at you twice if they could see you like I can."
I know! I'll shave her and parade her around the neighborhood and then she'll know her place. She'll be grateful to get any petting from me after everyone turns away from her in revulsion. He was about to get the razor when his cat nipped his hand and went to go lie in the sun.
Why don't I ever win? The cat's always one step ahead. He would have gone off for a good cry, but then he remembered he could make the females in his books behave. He settled in to write a naked slut-shaming walk.
Ok, that's probably not how it went[1], but I really wish someone had told me about slut shaming scene before I started reading A Dance with Dragons so I wouldn't have bothered. Which is why I'm telling you.
( cut for vileness )
If that hasn't put you off, Martin also includes a Magical Negro and a "what these people need is a honky" in the mix.
The count:
whore: 169
cunt: 29
bitch: 19
rape:18
As you can see, the whores have it by a country mile. It felt like more.
[1] I have no idea if GRRM tried to shave any cats as inspiration, but he has admitted to killing a lot of turtles.
Current Mood:  skin crawling
|
May 27th, 2012
02:54 pm - Among Others is Twilight for Fandom
Of all the novels in the Hugo voters packet, only one of them is in epub form, so that meant I would be reading it first before the dreaded PDFs. (Ok, I've already read Embassytown, but first among the books I got from the voting packet.)
Here is a quick plot summary of Among Others by Jo Walton for those who haven't read the book: Mor leaves Wales because she doesn't want to live with her crazy witch mother and to her dad is the only place she can go - she's also suffering because her twin sister died in a car crash while she and Mor (Morganna to her Morwenna) were thwarting her mother's nebulous take-over-the-world plans at the request of fairies (or possibly just running away.) She gets shipped off to a posh boarding school where she's unpopular because she has a limp and is from Wales and is middle class. Books are her only solace, and pretty much her only friend. But then she performs a bit of magic and suddenly she learns of an SF book club and it's all puppies and kittens - she gets friends, a boyfriend, a chance to talk about all the books she loves, makes plans to go to Worldcon, faces down her mum and makes peace with her sister's death.
So how is Among Others like Twilight? There are spoilers!
1. The overarching story is basically the same - A young girl (Bella/Mor) leaves her home in a place she loves (Arizona/Wales) to go live in a place she hates (Forks/Oswestry) to go live with her estranged father, who she calls by his first name, (Charlie/Daniel) and finds her OTP (Edward/Fandom.)
2. The only reason why the magic exists in the story is so that we know that Bella/Mor is special. (And by extension, so is fandom - special snowflakes ahoy!) Walton has gone on the record as saying that Among Other is unquestionably fantasy. I think it is a more interesting book if the fairies are simply the way Mor's PTSD manifests, so it's disappointing for Walton to confirm that yes, Mor sees sparkly vampires fairies. In fact, since Mor did magic to find her OTP, it's possible the entirety of fandom was created just so Mor could find it. (Of course, Walton also said it was unquestionably fiction but then let loose the dogs of fandom when Jonathan McCalmont suggested Mor was a bit of a psychopath, so maybe we'll not trust her word so much.)
3. Both Meyer and Walton seem realize late in the book "oh yeah, books need conflict" and there's an almost entirely superfluous scene where Mor has to battle fairies because they think she should kill herself (which she had already made the decision not to once earlier in the book because she wanted to read some Delany. It's nice to know Delany can save lives with his fiction, but that's not going make doing that scene over again very interesting). And then hot on the heels of that, Mor faces down her mother. It's really rubbish closure that feels completely unearned.
4. Any tension in the big facedowns is undercut by the use of a first person narrator - it's never in any doubt that Bella won't get eaten by the evil vampire, just as it is never in any doubt whether Mor will kill herself or fall back under her mother's thumb.
5. Oh the creepytimes. Edward is a creepy stalker and Mor seems to take the things she reads in dodgy SF as without a whit of skepticism. There is a disturbing scene where Mor's father climbs into her bed and tries to get it on with her. Mor muses that she knows that incest isn't always bad because Heinlein said so but her dad is drunk and icky and she's not on the pill. And then it's never brought up again. I had to pick up the pieces of my head after reading this scene, so this review is later than it might have been.
6. This is the real kicker: They are both boring in exactly the same way. Oh the topic is different, so in Twilight you get:
“What’s your favorite color?” he asked, his face grave.
I rolled my eyes. “It changes from day to day.”
“What’s your favorite color today?” He was still solemn.
“Probably brown.” I tended to dress according to my mood.
He snorted, dropping his serious expression. “Brown?” he asked skeptically.
“Sure. Brown is warm. I miss brown. Everything that’s supposed to be brown — tree trunks, rocks, dirt — is all covered up with squashy green stuff here,” I complained.
He seemed fascinated by my little rant. He considered for a moment, staring into my eyes.
You get in Among Others:
Actually, James Tiptree, Jr.’s Warm Worlds and Otherwise gives The Wind’s Twelve Quarters, Vol II a run for its money. I’d say the Le Guin is still ahead, but it’s not as clear-cut as I thought it was. The other two books in the package from my father today are both Zelazny. I haven’t started them yet. Creatures of Light and Darkness was awfully peculiar.
Teen girls squee at the idea of all-consuming love and fans squee at the mention of books they also love. Which is to say neither book has much interesting to say about the one they love. In fact, they are pretty darn tedious. SF may have been a touchstone to Walton when she was young, but she's basically cashing in with people who already find it interesting - the mere mention is enough, rather than doing the heavy lifting of making the discussion interesting in and of itself.
That Among Others would be so awful was an unpleasant surprise - considering how much praise it's gotten and that Walton is an excellent book blogger, I'd really hoped for more. Apparently fans (and SF critics) wanted a Twilight of their own.
|
May 7th, 2012
01:35 pm - Your prize is a swift kick in the nuts
I was writing up my thoughts on the short story portion Hugo ballot and I got distracted by a very bad story. I'd like to give my own personal award to the very worst piece of fiction I read from last year.
Here's the plot of story: Your boyfriend is a selfish asshole who works twelve-hour days and spends no time with you. You fall out of love with him, and finally you've had enough so you leave him. But you know he won’t let you go, so you try to leave no trace of where you've gone. You've signed on to colonize another planet, a dream of yours he mocked and called crazy.
But your stalker has the money and power, and a willingness to use any means possible to uncover where you’ve gone and he's coming for you.
Bribery, theft, digital trespassing. He'd used a little of each in increasingly desperate measure until he'd found her. He couldn't say he was proud of it, but what else could he have done? He'd been busy with the new dome. There'd been deals within deals to make; water contracts, space commitments, air rights. He'd even had to negotiate which hotel chain's signage would be most conspicuous from the main glidewalk. When he'd come up for air, she'd been gone. Her phone canceled. Her apartment vacated. He'd wasted weeks using conventional means to find her.
Horror story, right? Because we've reached that point in time where we can all recognize stalking as the misogynist act of violence that it is and not some romantic gesture that will eventually lead to lifelong love and happiness between the stalker and stalkee?
No, of course we haven't. The story's told from the stalker's point of view and it's sooooo romantic he wants to reclaim his love object.
The attendant gives a little schoolgirl swoon. Love, she whispers.
Apparently Trent Bishop, stalker, is so super awesome all his friends want to go with him.
"You got me through college and into law school," Carter went on. "Made me stay when I wanted to quit. Kept me straight when I wanted to wash it all away in a sea of drugs. Convinced me that what happened to me mattered—to me."
Trent peered at Carter's face, but the man refused to meet his gaze. "Carter, this is too big a decision to make out of some sense of loyalty."
Carter just laughed and said, "I know."
The punchline is that stalker Bishop will be an sick old man by the time he see here and everyone thinks that his ex-girlfriend Irene, who ran away from Bishop, will be pining for his presence and his old man grope.
At first, I thought this was a darkly comic sendup of the worst that science fiction has to offer, because how could a line like:
Maybe she understands all too well. Her concern is more than professional. Yes, of course. How many greats, he asks, lie between his sperm and her granddaughter-hood.
Or
It's hazy, those early days. Everyone slept with everyone then. Babies were the colony's future and few wombs went unfilled.
be something I'm supposed to take seriously? Wimmen, we're all about making the babies and worshiping ancestral sperm, when we're not being convenient prizes for men to win or motivation for their stories.
But apparently I am, because Trent Bishop is the most awesome guy in town and everyone adores him, some more than others.
"I accepted the way things are a long time ago," he [Carter] said. "Instead, I get to build a world."
"For them?" she asked.
"For him."
Yes, that's the kicker, the best friend who followed Bishop to another planet is secretly in love with Bishop and devoted his life aiding and abetting the stalking just to be close to his True Wuv.
Excuse me while I puke.
Winner of worst 2011 story is "The Architect of Heaven" by Jason K. Chapman.
|
April 28th, 2012
05:38 pm - In Which I am Not Timely - Two Old Slapfights
First up "Oh Christopher Priest NO!" If you missed it, Christopher Priest had a heck of a snit because he did not like Clarke nominees this year. (He apparently lives in some alternate universe where award nominee lists aren't routinely shit and make you want to stab your eyes out.)
It was a funny rant, but what was surprising was that people seemed to be taking it as worth talking about seriously rather than a bit of internet gasbaggery. (It even got reported in the Guardian.
Priest claimed to be in the "unusual position of having read almost everything that is either on the final shortlist as announced, or which narrowly missed being on it."
Ok. I'm sure it wasn't just me who felt his comments about the nominees were a bit on the thin side for the most part? They have the feel of someone who's read a few reviews of the books, the blurb on the back and maybe a few pages and then possibly a hearty skim. Heck, I could probably write similar comments about the short list and the only book I've read is The Testament of Jessie Lamb.
In fact I'll have a go on the Stross.
Rule 34 is classic Stross. Which is to say Stross only knows how to write one character and if you don't like that character you aren't going to like the book. Rule 34 reads like the wet dream of a technonerd who gets off on technology and sex in equal measures, and yet already feels dated (Matrix references, segways, Uncle Fester, and let's not forget Officer Elvis and the Roadrunner.)
The plot is an inoffensive detective procedural, but you don't read Stross for the plot anyway and the second person not as distracting as it might have been. Still, it's hard to believe that there weren't better books that were published last year.
(The trouble with doing this is without reading the book I can't know if I'm at all convincing. Ho hum - I award myself three stars anyway. I just won't tell anyone out of how many.)
Priest almost seems to come clean later :
This year, unusually, I took an interest in what was coming out and I had read many of the new books that were being thought of as likely candidates. When I saw the actual shortlist I was astonished by what was on it. I won’t go over the same ground as before, but of the six only two were at all radical or challenging (The Testament of Jessie Lamb by Jane Rogers, and Embassytown by China Miéville). The other four were, to put it as neutrally as possible, reworkings of familiar SF tropes with no particular distinction of style. I had read the Rogers and the Miéville novels, and thought they were both lacking in the outstanding quality that one instinctively expects in a winner, for different reasons in each case.
So he hasn't actually read the other four then? That's what I take away here. And that's where I promote him from gasbag to asshole.
I'm firmly of the opinion that it's quite possible to tell a book is not worth your time based on the first few pages. It would be perfectly find to call the list shit on that basis--if he'd declared that he hadn't read the books. (And you have to think how differently his comments would have been received had he said so upfront.)
Still, he did make me laugh when he offered to recuse himself from his fantasy rerunning of the Clarke Award, but only if enough people complained. It's almost like he'd forgotten he'd already lost the award.
Anyway, R. Scott Bakker has been busy on the internet. He battles "wits" with Nick Mamatas and takes umbrage when someone decides that his stated method of writing isn't very feminist.
Honestly, I don't much care whether Bakker is a feminist, misogynist or somewhere inbetween. I went to one of his readings at TorCon in 2003 and that's when I pretty much decided that I'd never be reading any of his books. (Not because I was offended but because it was a reading about a banal ritual that was presented as profound. None of the excerpts I've seen passed around the internet have suggested to me that this was a poor decision.)
But I do enjoy a good internet meltdown and Bakker doesn't seem to be getting any closer to the revelation that his behavior isn't convincing people he's not a misogynist and might be convincing people that he is.
I'm not actually on that team - Bakker is exactly that guy from a writing workshop that simply can't take any criticism. If you've ever done a writing workshop you probably know that guy (or gal) - the one who will email you fifteen times after to explain how you misread their story and it was actually doing something other than what you thought it was.
While they might have a fair point if their comment is "You said you thought the heroine was blue, but I actually said she was green on pages 6, 13, 23 and 27." (Not that the critiquer needs to know this or probably cares, so really just move on.)
It's when they start explaining what they intended with their writing that they get into real trouble. Bakker may have written a misogynist novel while attempting to write a critique of a misogynist novel, but he's already lost the war if he has to argue about his intentions.
No one is ever going to read a book and think it was horribly misogynist and then when hearing that the author meant it as a critique of misogyny go "oh, ok, that was brilliant then."
You can't undo the experience.
|
April 27th, 2012
05:53 pm - So That Was Exciting
It's lunchtime, and your boss walks by and says "Hey, what's going on down there?" There's a crowd at the windows facing Tottenham Court Road. You follow him to the window like a moth to a flame. Others join you as they notice the growing crowd. You look out the window and down toward Tottenham Court Road and see a crowd of people at another window. Suddenly, an object is tossed from the window. Then another. And another. You hear someone talk about the police cordoning off the area. More objects crash to the pavement.
Eventually the excitement of watching things fall 15 metres fades and you go back to your desk to eat your turkey sandwich. You get the following email:
The Met Police are currently investigating a suspect person who is armed and has explosives in Tottenham Court Road. A 1,000 meter cordon in and around the area of Tottenham Court Road is in place. We are within the cordoned zone and advice from the police is not to leave the building until this issue has been resolved.
You google to find out what's happening.
The smokers rejoice when they learn no one will actually stop them from going outside. Your office gets yelled at by the police for not staying away from the windows.
You are glad when the standoff is eventually resolved with no one injured.
Edit: You want to note that you do not think you were ever in danger.
|
February 24th, 2012
08:21 pm - Do you have your gold ticket?
I bet no one asked you that today? Me, I walk on the wild side.
Anyway, I was on my way to work this morning but when I got to the Tube, my Oyster card wouldn't let me in. (It's been dying a slow death for a while now and in that way that you do, I've been delaying getting it replaced. So today was the big day.)
I walk across to the other Hammersmith station and give my card to the attendant and explain that it wouldn't activate the gates. He tries in vain to get the reader to read it and then asks me what I was trying to do. I say, "I want to take the train." And seemingly shocked he says, "Well it's knackered." (Me: No shit, this is why I am here.)
Eventually he buys a clue and elects to offer me a replacement. (I guess he thought I might have wanted to hang at his booth all day or something.)
So there's paperwork and that all goes fine. But then he asks me if I have my gold ticket and I'm like WTF? And we have a few go rounds on this before he tells me that this is the receipt from when I bought my annual pass ten months ago. WHO WALKS AROUND WITH THAT!?
|
February 19th, 2012
01:56 pm - Testeria
Through internet serendipity, I came across the word testeria (meant to be a male analogue of hysteria) this morning. I shall define it as a man having a tantrum because no one is appreciating how awesome his peen is.
And then the internet handed me a perfect testeria example - a round up of the Scott Bakker meltdown in response to a negative review of his work from six months ago. (And not even because he'd just found it - he made a post about it at the time.)
If you haven't been following this particular slapfight, I know no better summary than this short story version of events someone wrote in the comments. Here's a sample:
His sadness turns slowly to rage. “WHY DIDN’T THAT ONE BITCH LIKE MY BOOK,” he seethes. “THINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH EASIER IF THAT ONE ANGRY BITCH HAD JUST SHUT UP AND LIKED MY BOOK SIX MONTHS AGO! Now people are coming on to my blog, being glib at me! Dismissing me! Telling me I’m not relevant! Telling me I’m sexist! People who actually know me tell me that I’m VERY relevant and NOT sexist! They tell me so frequently!”
In other internet "news" I am confused by people complaining when people link to stuff they said on the internet:
Adam Christopher (@ghostfinder) @niallharrison The secritcrush one. I'm just curious. I'm taking no part in any argument, but I don't like being link-quoted like that.
Niall Harrison (@niallharrison)@ghostfinder @alittlebriton @GillianRedfearn Which one? I know who both the LJs I linked to belong to.
Adam Christopher @alittlebriton @GillianRedfearn @niallharrison Do you guys know who that blogger is?
Surely that's what the internet is for? Passing around information? I guess he's longing for the day when we have internet police that will stop us from unauthorized linking.
Until then, I rule these internets.
|
February 18th, 2012
February 16th, 2012
08:02 pm - Assholes Redux: Sexism in Action
I have apparently made a couple of new asshole friends.
Why you got to be so angry, Baby?
First up is Ian Sales.
( A small visit to twitter )
I do so love it when a man tells me how I ought to react to sexism. Because of course I'm the one out of line for calling a man an asshole when the man acts like a sexist asshole. Guess what? If you spew sexism on the internet, I'm going to call you an asshole if I feel like it.
(And of course if you don't want to splash your name all over the internet, you have committed the greatest crime of all - worse than Hitler. Just ask Will Shetterly. He made a whole creepy stalker blog to out ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2) coffeeandink for that crime.)
Mansplaining for dummies
My other new asshole friend is this sexist asshole who seems firmly convinced that if he just mansplains it to me right I'll realize that Cornell is really a nice guy and has the best of motivations and that's all that matters really!
(That I conceded that Cornell is likely a nice guy and has good intentions in my original post won't stop the mansplainer!)
How can a guy who wants to fight sexism be exhibiting sexism? I know you want me to tell you. Let's look at the essence of Cornell's plan.
Involuntary player in your drama
If I'm on, at any convention this year, a panel that doesn't have a 50/50 gender split (I'll settle for two out of five), I'll hop off that panel, and find a woman to take my place.
If I know of a professionally qualified woman (a fellow creator or critic or someone with specific knowledge of the subject) in the room, I'll start by inviting her up.
STOP.
What’s sexist about this? I assume those who don't notice are men because it's dripping with male privilege.
If you are a woman you are almost certainly no stranger to this sort of occurrence. A man decides you are going to be an actor in their narrative (and you better play nice) no matter what you had planned.
If you aren't responsive, it usually ends with something like:
I was just asking. or
All you had to do was say "No." or
Bitch.
So if you wanted to attend a panel and sit quietly in the audience and enjoy the show, you are out of luck if Cornell decides he thinks you are qualified to be on the panel. You will be a be part of his spectacle.
No, you don't get to decide. No, it doesn't matter if you think his approach is wrong. No, it doesn't matter if you already declined appearing on the panel. No, it doesn't matter if you've already done ten panels and just wanted a break. No, it doesn't matter times a million-a man has decided you get to be part of his little drama.
He later says: I've changed the plan a little, as noted in the edits, and absolutely nobody is going to be pushed into doing anything, in terms of being literally hauled up onstage.
Well, I guess we ladies can all be grateful that assault isn't on the table, just the usual bullshit women put up with every day. *rolls eyes*
The women men don't see.
Moving on:
If there's nobody like that, I'll ask for hands up, and hope that bravery counts as virtue enough for them to hold their own on the panel.
STOP.
Sigh. I really doubt there is a con audience in existence where there isn't a woman sitting in the audience who is well qualified to be on the panel. If Cornell can't see one then the problem is him.
And you know what? He needs to correct that if he expects anyone to take him seriously as a feminist ally. fjm , practical as always, is tackling this one head on. Unsurprising because she's a woman.
Cornell on the other hand goes for the "well I'll pick a random individual and hope for the best" because he can't be assed to do anything more.
Control of what you say, control of what you do.
And here's the rest:
I will ask such women that they don't spend their time on the panel criticizing the convention or the companies I work for. That would make me a very rude guest.
STOP.
There's nothing quite like a man deciding he gets to be in charge of you and decide what it's ok for you to say. It's particularly unfortunate that what he wanted to censor was criticism of his employers which are pretty notoriously sexist. And he's pretty damn sexist for thinking he has a right to suppress criticism of them.
Here's a hint: If you are correcting an inequity, no one is beholden to you after. You have not done them a favor. You are not owed thanks. You do not get to dictate their behavior. Any expectations for something other than this make you a sexist (or racist or other -ist) asshole.
Cornell has since changed his position on this:
EDIT: I've been persuaded that I shouldn't attempt to stop someone who replaces me from saying what they like. I hope that doesn't lead to horrors, but it's true, I've no right to try and limit anyone. I just hope I don't end up being the person who invited a guest to the party who ends up berating his friends.
Of course, he clearly still wants you not to criticize his employers and the con, so he hasn't moved terribly far from his original sexist stance.
In conclusion: If you want to be part of the solution, start by not being part of the problem.
|
February 14th, 2012
07:09 pm - How to Be an Asshole in One Easy Step
So Paul Cornell has announced that if he's on a convention panel that doesn't have gender parity, he's planning on making a display of stepping down and trying to add a woman onto the panel. But don't you dare call the people he works for on their sexism! Approved opinions only, please. [1]
So you would think I would be in favor of gender parity on panels and things such as that. And of course I am.
You might also think that I would be in favor of productive things that encourage people to make that happen. And again you'd be right.
Unfortunately, this is attention whoring, plain and simple. Cornell is only willing to stand up against sexism as long as it's not going to stop him from getting attention or genuinely inconvenience him or his wallet.( Cut for frothing - don't say you weren't warned. )
Oh, hai! were you wondering what a sexist asshole looks like? Here's one who acts like a petulant child when we are not properly grateful when he tries to save us from sexism. (Liz is programme deputy for Eastercon)
Edit: here's another post by me on the topic and a roundup from SH.
Current Mood:  annoyed
|
January 29th, 2012
January 25th, 2012
07:04 pm - Hooray! and Boo!
In the hooray column, I've signed the paperwork to get reimbursed the £1350 for my ILR application. (I am, of course, indentured for the next two years on this - if I were to leave my company before than I would have to pay back a pro-rated portion of it.)
Still, since I hadn't expected them to pay, even if I left my job after a few months it would be totally free money (not that I am planning on quitting or anything.)
In the boo column, I've got a large job going out next week and we are scrambling to get it done. So it was particularly annoying news to find out today that the markups I had given to a CAD manager because he had "a guy who could start on it right away" haven't even been started. He said "maybe he'd have a guy to start on them Friday." Mind you, we want everything drawn by Monday. Yeah, this is some pretty annoying news. You'd think he might have mentioned this, oh, at any point in the last two weeks. Including when I emailed him a few days ago specifically asking about the status of the drawings.
Lesson learned. I certainly won't trust this guy again.
|
January 21st, 2012
04:42 pm - Project Runway All Stars, Episode 3
So far so good. I think we've already seen more good and interesting clothes than we did all of last season. And while I haven't always agreed with the judges' decisions, I think they've been pretty reasonable so far.
Previouslybarbarienne asked why the Michael C hate? Here's two examples - last week he threw a snit because April was using the same color as him and by bringing up the week before made it sound like he thought she was copying him. HEY MICHAEL! You can't call dibs on a color. (PS, Mila had dibs on black. Nyah.)
This week he is all "Oh, Miss Piggy, she's everyone's dream client." SHUT UP. No, she is not. Stop camera whoring.
The challenge this week was to design a dress for Miss Piggy, which on one hand sounds fun, but on the other hand when Joanna started talking about Miss Piggy not being able to hear if she was wearing a headband, they lost me.
All right, let's get down to cases.
( time for some pictures )
Final Four Prediction: Mila, Rami, Mondo, Austin (That last choice is definitely from the heart, not the head because Austin has been all over the map.)
|
January 14th, 2012
06:15 pm - Much more interesting than the pimporama slapfight going on
I forgot to mention the giant poster I saw for Amanda Hocking's book Switched which is being republished by Tor in the UK. You may recall that I've read these books back when they were self-published.
Hocking is not the only self-published author making book deals - there was a review of a previously self-published book republished by Orbit over at Strange Horizons this week. (BTW, slapfight alert in the comments.)
hawkwing_lb found the book to be bad. Very, very bad. And she was understandably angry at the book's editors who did nothing to bring this book up to a professional standard, including failing to copyedit the book to judge from this gem:
"Listen, I have been here for 3 [sic] nights. I have seen it and I know what it can do."
It very much feels like they did nothing to the book with the aim of trying to make a cheap buck and drop him if he can't maintain the audience he built. What really bugs me is not that Sullivan wrote a bad book - that's not a crime and authors can get better over time. It's that the folk at Orbit give the appearance of having no embarrassment at publishing the book in its current state. The author deserves better than what he's gotten from Orbit.
The book's defenders bring the comedy gold in the comments. For example, the idiot Johnny:
Fantasy 101: Fantasy authors make up languages ALL THE TIME. Any comparison to OUR language that you make...is on you, not the author. It BEHOVES you to F*ing accept that if you are reading a fantasy book. Tolkien was a language student. Sullivan isn't. You'll excuse him if his MADE-UP fantasy world doesn't rope itself into Olde English the way you are taught it...
This is weakest of the weak sauce excuses. First, I don't believe that Sullivan conceived of writing a language that looks likes Early Modern English but a bit different. But even if he did, I don't care.
Morrison's Law:
If a fictional change you made to physics/language/history/etc. looks identical to an error, it will be read as an error. It doesn't matter if you did it intentionally.
To my mind there is a convention that your fantasy people aren't actually speaking English despite the fact that you've written your novel and all their dialogue in it. Which is why "nearly Early Modern English" doesn't work - why would you translate to a language that doesn't exist? If you've invented a language that is almost English despite being a world that has none of our history, how am I supposed to believe in that? And why is only that one portion of the text not translated?
|
January 13th, 2012
January 8th, 2012
08:13 pm - All Stars
I've watched the first episode of PR all stars and here's my instant assessment of the show:
Cream:
Kara
Mondo
Rami
Mila
Pack:
Austin
Gordana
April
Jerrell
It's not that I think the pack is untalented (or unable to take it all), it's just that I think they have serious unaddressed designing issues? limitations? a thing that should not make them top tier on this show no matter how successful they can be in the real world[1], at least based on their past showing and the first challenge.
Chaff:
Sweet P
Elisa
Michael Costello
Anthony
Kenley
Sadly, I'm too overworked to give thoughts on the actual designs, but please let them auf Michael Costello soon.
[1] Austin is a great example of this - he is perfect for the Vera Wang bridal gown design job he got after his season - a really top design position, but he's very much a niche designer and that doesn't play on the show
|
January 5th, 2012
09:49 pm - Still not able to explode heads with my mind
There's nothing quite like doing a QA check on some drawings and finding a number of corrections that need to be made (mostly based on client comments), submitting them back to your team so they'll be revised before issue (you will not be there for the issue because you are flying home for Christmas and the issue is late) and then getting back comments from your client today, largely about the things you picked up during QA.
I was going to say I was embarrassed and annoyed. Embarrassed and seething with rage is a much more accurate assessment. The errors are minor, but to have them pointed out twice by a client?? So not acceptable. (Plus there is the whole late for no real reason part.)
My PM on the job has succumbed to my subliminal suggestions to phase this guy out of the project (he's going to work on other projects for the firm - he's slow and annoying but ultimately the final product is good.) I keep offering him assistance to help him to catch up and he keeps inventing reasons why not to accept it which is what my WTF face was invented for - why do you want to stay behind?
I told my boss today that if I'd known three months ago, I'd never have given him this bit of work. He did not turn to me and say THIS IS WHY YOU ARE A TERRIBLE MANAGER - YOU ARE SO FIRED (which is what I secretly felt like inside, well not the fired bit really) but gave the platitude that hindsight is always perfect. Which, yeah. It still sucks.
|
January 4th, 2012
08:26 pm - I have been reliably informed by "The Internet" that Project Runway All-Stars starts tomorrow.
Now after last season I was pretty much ready to give it the old heave ho, but Austin! (who totally should have been in the Season 1 finale, not that it affected the final result like this loser season but we should never forget that producer manipulation has always been there) Gordana! (one of my favorite contestants who was unfairly tagged with the seamstress label and yes I think it was because she is a woman who is middle-aged and from a foreign country that's not one of those sexy ones, pretty much in direct contrast to last season's sham winner) Kara (who would have won her season hands down if she'd made it to the final three - her collection was great) Mondo! (cute as a button and hell of a designer. But mostly I like to watch the cute.)
There are some serious ughs in there (Kenly, Michael Costello) and a few "who?"s as well, but on the whole I am pretty excited. Which means I am back in, FOR NOW. (You are totally on probation, Lifetime network.)
Anyone else back in?
Poll #1808396
project runway
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 16
Are you going to watch Project Runway All Stars?
View Answers
| Yes. |
   4 (28.6%) |
| No. |
| 1 (7.1%) |
| No, but I've never watched Project Runway. |
| 9 (64.3%) |
So what about my episode post mortems, do you want to read those or am I talking to myself?
View Answers
| Read them! |
| 8 (53.3%) |
| Talking to yourself! |
| 7 (46.7%) |
|
January 2nd, 2012
03:36 pm - Oh Look, It's Doctor Who
I'd been resisting watching this for over a week now, and the internet had been telling me this was the right choice, but since it's back to work tomorrow, I figured watching it would make me look forward to going back to work.
( Spoilers of suckiness within )
|
January 1st, 2012
03:38 pm - Hello, 2012
May you spend today as you would like to spend the rest of the year.
I spent much of the day reading some of my Christmas booty so I certainly have. (Books read so far in 2012: A Visit from the Goon Squad and Imaginary Girls.)
One last day of vacation left tomorrow before the grind kicks in again. I did not get all the things done that I meant to do over the break, but I did sleep a lot and read a lot so I'm calling it a win.
So how are you lot?
|
December 21st, 2011
01:00 pm - Flirting with Travel Disaster
It's always good to know the night before the status of the flight that's delivering the plane you are going to be traveling on. Continental makes this easy by giving you a "Where's this plane coming from?" link when you check your flight status.
As I alluded to in the comments last night, the plane coming to London to take me back to America was running five hours late. Not good news when you layover is meant to be two hours. Especially at Christmas when you know the flights are running full.
Annoyingly, Continental won't show a flight in delay until the prior flight has taken off. Which meant that even though I knew that my flight was going to be delayed, I couldn't just call and get them to try to fix it. But at least I knew when I needed to get up and call. (Never wait until you get to the airport to try to change flights - people like me will be taking all the available slots by calling.)
So I dutifully got up and called early - the news wasn't terrific. The next flight they could put me on was a flight from Newark at 7 pm - I would have gotten the very last seat in coach. But I'd checked what flights were available and knew that Continental runs a codeshare flight into Boston on Virgin Atlantic (which means that I'm technically not asking to be moved to another airline - something they are always very reluctant to do.)
When I asked the woman I was talking to had to run off and talk to a supervisor which left me sitting on hold for a good fifteen minutes, but at the end of it, I was in! No long layover in Newark because of the delayed plane.
Now I'm hanging around in the Virgin lounge soaking up the free wifi and waiting for my flight to be called rather than fretting about delays and connections. I'll be getting in about 45 minutes later than my original flight so I'm definitely calling it a win.
|
December 20th, 2011
07:18 pm - None More British!
Or rather I was able to pass the Life in the UK test. (As you know, Bob, I am applying for settlement in the UK because my work permit expires at the end of January. )
This is the test which quizzed me on important facts like "Is the Anglican Church the official church for all of the UK?"(no) Is there a UK National Rugby team? (no, each country has its own) and What percentage of people attend public (aka private) schools? (no idea, took a flyer.)[1]
My test was at the Iranian Association in Hammersmith. (For some reason you can't take the test except in the test centers near your home and not near my office which I would have preferred. Though the Iranian ladies were lovely - they clearly appreciate how stressful a test like this can be.)
Two people got there earlier than me (I arrived 15 minutes before they tell you to) and everyone but one arrived alone (one person was with their partner who got to wait in the waiting room while we were tested.) One middle-aged woman was a bit frantic - she didn't read the instructions that said we'd all start at once so she panicked a bit when she could't start here test. During the test she had a bit of a running monologue mumble going on. There was a fair amount of frantic leafing through studyguides by people when they re-entered the waiting room post test.
I was about 70% confident I'd passed when I left the testing room. (The test took me a full five minutes, but I spent a few more reviewing my answers.) Luckily they tell you right away - none of that waiting weeks for your results nonsense. (Though apparently I looked relieved enough when I got my letter that the test proctor commented that surely I didn't really think I might have failed.)
I'm off to the US tomorrow to see my family for Christmas. No more work for the rest of the year, woo! This also means that I will finally have time to finish writing up my review of Modelland by Tyra Banks.
[1] If you would like to argue with any of these statements, please argue with the writers of the official study guide, not me.
|
December 17th, 2011
06:48 pm - Lunch with Panda Sandra and Non-furry Terry
affinity8 was in town so I had lunch with her and her friend Terry.
Unshocking Fact #1: I'm a terrible London tour guide - I'd scoped out a couple of likely restaurants near my office but had no idea that most restaurants don't open until 1:00 on Saturday (and what is up with that, London? - people are HUNGRY.)
Anyway, we eventually ended up at Pizza Express which was tasty, if not very interesting. (I'd skipped breakfast, so I was pretty well disposed to enjoy it.)
Shocking Fact #1 Sandra's furry identity is a panda. We were having the chit and the chat and Sandra was displaying a shocking level of knowledge about furry conventions. She claimed it was for "research" and when pressed confessed (some might say joked) that her furry identity was a panda.
Unshocking Fact #2- Sandra and I both had the same idea that the Elgin marbles ought to be properly marble-like and not just made of marble. (Still disappointed!)
Anyway, we confounded the waiter by trying to pay with twenty pound notes (him: I have no change!) and one of his coworkers was super excited to learn we were Americans. He told us all about his planned vacation to Saskatchewan (him: that's near the US, right? Us: ... him: no wait, Toronto! That's near the US, and Niagara Falls - I'm going there first. Us: it's going to be cold in Saskatchewan in February.)
Shocking Fact #2: I was giving Terry and Sandra directions to the British Museum and Sandra was going "uh huh, uh huh, uh huh" without writing anything down and I must admit I was skeptical that she would remember anything beyond step one, and Terry asked her flat out, and to our surprise she rattled it all back perfectly. So clearly Sandra is the one to take with you if you go adventuring.
|
November 24th, 2011
06:29 pm - You should be thankful you don't work with architects
Monday: Architect 1: Oh, we need to change just one room, I swear that it won't be more than that.
Wednesday: Architect 2:(In a meeting to discuss why they need to stop changing things on drawings we've already issued as final) Oh, our approach will be to change things in a way that won't affect the services at all. We pinky swear!
Thursday:
Me: Can you cloud those changes you are issuing tomorrow?
Architect 2: We shouldn't need to cloud them, we are an integrated practice and we talk to each other.
Me: *eye rolls of doom while architect pompously speechifies the grandeur of integrated practices.
Architect 3: I didn't think we were making changes, that's not the approach we discussed on Wednesday.
Me: F. showed me the room they were changing on Thursday.
Thursday (later): Architect 2 comes by with a stack of half dozen papers showing all the changes they have made.
Architect 3: Can you look through these and tell me if they affect you.
Me: yes, they all require me to change the drawings.
Architect 3: Really, by we just moved the walls over a little bit.
Me: yes, and now you have a floor drain under a wall.
Architect 3: But ...
Me: Look, I understand the columns changed size and you have to make changes (unsaid:because you screwed up and didn't incorporate the change before), but you have to promise me this is the very last time.
Architect 3: ...
Me: No, really.
Architect 3: ...
*exit Architect*
Needless to say I immediately went to my project director and had him put a smackdown on them. Unfortunately, they spring back like the head of a hydra every time we do. (I quite like architect 3, architects 1 and 2, not so much.)
Amusingly, one guy in the office seemed to think I wasn't allowed in the office today because it was Thanksgiving. I pointed out that I don't get bonus holidays just for being a foreigner. We both thought this would be an awesome practice.
In Movember news, I nearly lost it in a meeting today when a coworker caught my eye after he'd just shaved to a fu manchu. (He's been auctioning off various ridiculous facial hair configurations, but balked when one of our coworkers put in a bid to have him shave one side of his face to create a half-beard.
|
November 21st, 2011
07:03 pm - In Which Our Heroine Gives the Stinkeye
Dear Structural Engineer,
If I already made you some sketches, don't imply that we haven't put a lot of thought into what I presented, because I will give you a look that will incinerate you in your seat. Your extremely rapid backtracking only means that your death is pending, not cancelled.
nolove,
me
Dear Architects,
If you move another bloody toilet and tell me how that isn't really a change you are going to get to go install them yourself. Once we issue a drawing we generally plan to stop changing it. So STOP CHANGING IT!
nolove,
me
Dear Contractor,
When we said that you were not installing another blessed thing until you fixed your warranty? We meant it. I'm not sure why you thought waiting two weeks and then trying to re-present it was a good idea. We didn't get amnesia during that period and I don't actually care if you have to sit on site not doing squat until this is resolved.
nolove,
me
|
October 29th, 2011
10:40 am - The Creeper of WFC
So amongst the wacky hijinks and drinking of WFC there was a bit of an unpleasant time yesterday evening when a creeper glommed onto our table in Charley's and proceeded to obnoxiously hit on most of the women at the table.
His name was David and he was from Canada and claimed to work for Edge publishing or have some sort of connection with them EDIT: Amber says she thinks he just had a story
Published by them. (part of his creeping M.O. was soliciting manuscripts EDIT: I guess he was just that interested.) He was a pudgy metal head in his late thirties with long dark brown hair that was greasy and lank.
His attempts at hitting on people frequently included the disclaimer that he was not in fact hitting on them while making obnoxious asides to the one guy in our party which were not nearly as quiet as he thought. He told pretty much everyone how he had a girlfriend that he was in love with since he was 13 and she was 18. He claims that she loved him back then too. Other highlights included talking smack about his (ex?) wife and explaining how he couldn't do that monogamy thing. I think at one point he was going to tell us about how he lost his virginity, but luckily someone shut that down right quick.
He proudly told us that he'd been drinking since noon (pro tip: that only impresses alcoholics) and claimed he acts exactly the same sober or drunk. I really hope not.
The veneer of his polite creeper mode was stripped away the moment he got a sense that people thought he was acting creepy. My moment of interaction with this came when he wanted to move into Marsha's seat so he could sit next to Carol (who took the brunt of his creeping and was too polite to tell him to fuck off) I told him it wasn't going to happen and he needed to stay where he was. He immediately began a petulant passive aggressive whine about he had been totally polite and nice so why did we have to insinuate that he was being creepy? Because you know, his man-right to creep trumped our rights to be left alone. It was semi-amusing to watch him be an ass at first, but once it was clear that he would never get the hint that he wasn't wanted, it became no fun at all.
Holly eventually had enough and told him to get the fuck out and that no one wanted him around. He tried the "I was just being nice ploy" again which, when it didn't get any traction, quickly moved to aggressive and belligerent.
He stood and I think most of us thought he might try to hit Holly but instead he announced that he was a witch and was going to curse Holly and her entire family. Also, he was going to astral project into Holly's dreams and turn them into nightmares. (I'm sure that he will be disappointed to know that rather than being afraid, we were openly laughing at his threats.)
I'm glad we were leaving anyway because he was the sort of obnoxious ass who would never go away when asked. Huge jeers to the staff at Charley's who neither cut him off when asked, nor evicted him when asked after he started threatening Holly.
So if you run into the creeper of WFC, I suggest you don't waste any time with politeness and just walk away from him because he'll never leave of his own volition.
|
October 16th, 2011
10:23 am - The Final Four
So way back at the beginning of the season I predicted that Danielle, Viktor, Olivier and Anthony Ryan would make the final four.( So how did I do? )
|
October 2nd, 2011
10:16 am - The Followup Doctor Who Poll
My episode post mortem will be coming shortly, but in the meantime, here's a poll
Poll #1783414
Because Niall Asked for it
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 20
Now that you have watched the episode, how do you rate it?
Did you predict the resolution of the Doctor's death?
View Answers
| Yes |
| 4 (22.2%) |
| No |
| 13 (72.2%) |
| I don't know. |
| 1 (5.6%) |
Are you disappointed with River's story arc?
View Answers
| Yes. |
| 8 (44.4%) |
| No. |
| 3 (16.7%) |
| Yes and No. |
| 6 (33.3%) |
| What's a story arc? |
| 1 (5.6%) |
Is Moffat a misogynist?
View Answers
| Yes, and I am a woman. |
| 5 (29.4%) |
| Yes, and I am not a woman. |
| 4 (23.5%) |
| No, and I am a woman. |
| 4 (23.5%) |
| No, and I am not a woman. |
| 3 (17.6%) |
| How dare you define people relative to their womanness, everyone knows men are the default sex. |
| 1 (5.9%) |
|
October 1st, 2011
09:30 am - Dear Producers of Project Runway,
When you decided that you needed to give Anya another chance at Mood by announcing a "surprise" second look for no reason, I turned the show off.
(The only reason I turned it back on was after I googled for the loser (because I was sure I knew who the winner would be) and I was all "What? Really? and had to see what he made and if it was really the worst look. Of course it was not.)
( I think we may be breaking up, Project Runway )
|
September 25th, 2011
10:01 am - Ho, Hum, Cybermen
Black clerk, white clerk. I wonder which one will die?
( the shocking answer below the cut )
|
September 24th, 2011
10:54 am - It's like that time you let your friend give you a makeover, if you both were drunk and blind
Aspiring rock stars beware. When Rolling Stone comes a calling and offers you a cover, you may end up on a reality TV show sitting around in your underwear.
And remember, that’s going to be the high point.
Every once in a while there is an episode of project runway that is so much of a train wreck that it loops around to the other side and becomes craptasticly awesome.
( behold the horror within )
|
September 18th, 2011
September 17th, 2011
10:08 am - Let's Pick the Winner by Random Number Generator
But to be fair to the judges, most of the looks were snoozers. On the other hand, this happens almost every time they do a "real people challenge." While there was quite a bit of moaning about women with actual boobs and hips, it's not the bodies that are the problem. It's the melding the taste of the client (without offending them if they have dubious taste) with your own aesthetic and making something that will please them while at the same time pleasing the judges. It is an important skill for a designer to have, but mostly the challenges end up dull. ( Now let's get down to cases. )
Current Mood:  chipper
|
September 11th, 2011
01:38 pm - Color Me Baffled
It was a team challenge this week on project runway: Team hugs and sunshine and team implosion. I felt bad for Kim being on team implosion, but she's a survivor.( cut for images )
|
10:46 am - The Girl Who Waited
Because of course in the Moffat-verse adult women are always "girls", and they are always waiting for a man to come and rescue them. (No agency for girls in the Moffat-verse!)
You know when you have a Tardis that translates everything everywhere for you in real time? You know what problem you don't have? A problem where you can't read which button to push because the intent would get translated.( and we're off )
And I think we've definitively answered the question about whether or not Moffat will ever address all the stuff that went on with Amy and the kidnapping and the baby. Not until the season finale. Then Moffat may remember a thing called character continuity.
Maybe, but probably not.
|
September 9th, 2011
08:04 pm - Double Bonus Time
Since I did have a good whinge about work yesterday, I figured that I'd anti-whinge after some good news today.
They've changed how they do our profit share - until now we got our profit share a year in arears. Now we will be getting profit share distribution based on the prior six months. Much better because basically you used to get screwed out of your last year of profit share when you left.
And the changeover means that our next profit share will (potentially) be a double one - one for 2010 and one for the first six months of our fiscal 2011 (which started in April).
Woo!
|
September 8th, 2011
08:17 pm - Crappy Work Day
Me: I can't go to the meeting you scheduled at 3:00
R: You can make it?
Me: No, I have a meeting elsewhere, like I told you Tuesday.
R: I didn't know that.
Me: We had a discussion on Tuesday. R2 and I asked you not to schedule the meeting in the afternoon.
R: We did?
Me: [are you fucking kidding me with this shit?] Yes. We were standing at R2's desk and R2 and I asked you to please schedule the meeting in the morning.
R: Oh, so what if we moved it back half an hour?
Me: I'm going to be out of the office from 11:00 on, so that's not going to help.
R: So can you [drop everything and do a huge pile of stuff]?
Me: [walks away]
He seemed shocked that I was pissed by the conversation.
In other news, we've got one guy who has to leave because of personal reasons (though we hope he will be able to come back soon) and a major (yet crappy) new project came into the group.
These two circumstances mean I've been assigned to the crappy new project. (My boss clearly did not want to tell me he'd made the decision - he cringed a bit when he did. (I told him I wasn't happy, but it was clearly the decision he needed to make.))
It also probably mean that I'm about to start working all the overtime again.
Slog ahoy! (also the riches.)
|
September 4th, 2011
12:50 pm - This Isn't About the Misogyny of Steven Moffat
Probably.
1. So one of the problems with the recent episodes of Doctor Who is that Moffat set up a huge series of traumatic events - Amy's kidnapped, kept in a tube, finds out she's pregnant and about to give birth and then after she does, her baby is stolen.
So that's some seriously fucked up shit and while I get that Doctor Who isn't about people dealing with the PTSD, dumping Amy and Rory on earth for six months presumably so the viewers don't have to deal with them freaking out is not a satisfying way to handle it.
So far they seem completely unaffected. And completely uninterested in spending time with their daughter or upset that she's been brainwashed by the Silence or doing anything about it.
You don't want to do the time dealing with shit like this? Don't do the plotting crime.
2. So the Doctor fucked Amy over royally with the whole coming back 15 years late thing. Is he really that much of an asshole that after she's gone through the trauma discussed in number 1, he'd leave her sitting for six months waiting to hear news about her daughter? Apparently so, at least in the Moffatverse.
3. Enough with the recurring motifs - seriously you don't need to remind us every week that the Doctor is going to die at the ham-handedly named Lake Silencio every week (much like you did with pregnant/not pregnant and the cracks in the universe before) We promise not to forget. No really, we are not nearly as stupid as you think we are, Moffat.
Anyway, I'm sure you notice I haven't said much about this week's episode. This would be because it's a snoozer. It doesn't make me want to shout with rage, but it's in no way interesting. How they blew the creepiest thing in the entire world (creepy dolls), I'll never know.
I expect tiny children found it scarier, but I think when I was a kid I would have found it way too talky. (Of course, as a kid I loved the unbelievably padded Tom Baker era episodes that I find unwatchable now, so maybe I would have loved it.)
( wooden dollies ahoy )
In conclusion, this episode is so boring that I can't even focus on it when I'm trying to write about it.
|
September 3rd, 2011
05:49 pm - Project Runway - This Season is Officially A Dud
This should have been a great challenge - even the failures in an avant garde challenge can be interesting when they're tragically ugly. Unfortunately most of the outfits were simply literal interpretations of the pictures, pushed no boundaries and were butt ugly.
There was a lot of wacky fabrics and piles and piles of fabrics which seemed in many ways a knee-jerk panic reaction because these designers cannot do avant garde.
( Cut because I've added some pictures )
|
August 31st, 2011
10:02 pm - A post without a title is like a punch in the gut Ooof!
1. I'm not doing anything on le plus, but I do like to go on there every once in a while to spy on the eleventy million complete and utter strangers who have friended me. Or whatever google wants us to call it. Too late asshats! LJ and Facebook have already decided that question.
Once you weed out spammers and people who seem to friend everyone who has been friended by famous people I know (You lot are totally internet famous!) there is a strange subset of people who are bit unusual.
My new favorite is the person who is posting the following sort of stuff:
Rick Santorum was a classmate of Osama bin Laden, and he is not a proper candidate for President of the United States of America. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Santorum
He's got Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and many others. I like his dedication to a single talking point. Now I want to know who isn't a classmate of Osama Bin Laden and is a proper candidate for president!
2. The whole time I was on holiday someone called my phone listened to my voicemail message which indicated when I would return (technically my message lies because it says I will be back tomorrow.), and then hung up without leaving a message. They did this every single day I was gone like they had some bizarre optimism that I would come back early and answer their call. I am impressed by their persistence while boggling at their stupid. (I know it's not a robo-dialler because I googled the number and it's an architect's number - probably one of the fitout architects for one of my buildings.) I plan on not picking up the phone when they call tomorrow. That'll show them not to leave a message.
3. Speaking of holiday, I was looking at my vacation balance today and found out that I'd only taken 10 days of holiday this year prior to last week and I was thinking "Wow, I really haven't been off much." Luckily, my holiday balance stands at 21.41 days, so there's loads more time off coming.
I weep for USians with no holiday time.
4. Got an email from my mom today - still no power and no phone due to the many downed tree limbs. Looks like the soonest they expect to get it back on is Sunday. Luckily, they do have a generator, but that's just running the fridge and freezer so there's no food spoilage. (And they have gas stove so they can still cook.) Boooooo hurricanes!
|
August 29th, 2011
02:27 pm - Let's Kill Moffat!
Or at least lock him in a closet.
So do you think Moffat has ever met a woman? Yeah, me neither.
( Abandon all hope, ye who spoiler here )
|
August 24th, 2011
08:44 pm - My Recent Doings (The non-friends locked portion)
1. Flew back to America for the week for family celebrations. In a shocking twist from recent visits, I was neither sick, nor did I get sick while I was there. The flight out went basically like clockwork. Immigration in Newark for USians was super speedy (though it looked like a painful backup for Non-USians) and I got the usual "what, no luggage?" from customs. Security at Newark was a disaster. They decided to shut down one x-ray machine, leaving one x-ray machine and a million people backed up. Luckily, I was pretty close when they pulled this nonsense, but it took around half an hour to cover a distance that usually takes less than 10 minutes. Oh, well, flights went well.
2. I watched Thor on the plane, which I found surprisingly enjoyable in a super cheesy way. Who can argue with hott guys walking around being hott? Bonus points for all the female characters being kick-ass and not doormats or inspiration for the hero to go be hero-ick.
3. Sooooo much good food was eaten I feel like I ought to just quit now and never eat again as it will never be as good. Especially the fresh corn on the cob - nom nom nom.
4. My brother's fiancé's grandson came to visit for dinner one night and he is the cutest tiny person ever (he's three) and since my parents live an a house entirely made of cats and clocks, I think he was in heaven.
5. I got the extra special homeland security massage when I opted out of the cancer machine x-ray. I was a bit surprised how few people seemed to opt-out. (I will say that my masseuse was very polite and attempted to make the experience as painless as possible, but the intimidation factor generally is quite high.)
6. On the way home I landed in Newark just a few minutes after the earthquake. Apparently the tower evacuated right after they gave us final clearance to land. We then ended up sitting on the tarmac between two active runways (well in theory, I don't think anyone landed after us) for a good while because there was no one in the control tower to direct us. It was amusing when the pilot came on and announced "well, this has never happened to me before, but there's just been an earthquake ..."
It was a bit of a pain in the ass sitting on the runway, but we did get emergency snacks (extra amusing because we didn't sit on the runway for all that long.)
I expect I should be thankful it didn’t happen while we were landing, but I am bitter for missing the earthquake as I have never been awake during one. (yes, I have slept through earthquakes.)
7. This morning at Heathrow it might have been Christmas - the line for non-EU folk was all the ways out of the hall and up the ramp. Thank goodness for a spare Fast Track pass. Has anyone in the UK done the IRIS thing?
8. And the locked bit
|
August 13th, 2011
09:58 am - Time for the Partner Challenge!
I liked the idea of creating outfits for stilt walkers because it cried out for something over the top and avant garde - something that played around with the tall and unnaturally thin[1] model ideal.
( but it was not to be )
|
August 10th, 2011
09:24 pm - Declaring Google Bankruptcy
Oh Google, I denied your petulant demands that I make you my home page or download your chrome browser.
I thought you were a creepy stalker for serving up ads based on personal gmail correspondence. (well, since I pre-found it creepy I've never used my gmail account for much of anything because while search ads are intrusive, but sometimes useful, email based ads are nothing but creepy.)
So that brings me to le plus, which demands that I have a public profile and that I use my real name (to which I say: fat chance, assholes.) And now you are turning the screws on people who refuse to play your real name game. A billion spammers have already friended my le plus account along with a few people I actually know. And I get a billion updates about it despite telling google to FUCK RIGHT OFF with that. They've got the facebook chat nag and the annoying twitter "follow this person" nag. Such a revolution of social media.
The sum result is that I never log into my google account and google gets less information from me, rather than the more that they were hoping to sell since they would have my actual ID.
Google got a lot faster again once I logged out.
|
August 6th, 2011
06:24 pm - Handicapping Project Runway
So Project Runway is back and so far it seems too much about the sob stories and not enough about clothes and cattiness. Still, I liked the twist where everyone had to go in and audition to the judges and Tim. Though it shall be interested to see how it colors their perceptions after seeing clothes that they designed without the clock and budget constraints they have on Project Runway.
I hated the PJ challenge (those challenges always seem unfair because the quality and quantity of material you get is very arbitrary.) Oh, and if someone said I had to work all day without wearing a bra? I'd tell them to fuck right off. (I thought that was a particularly crap twist.)
( Now for the handicapping )
|
August 3rd, 2011
08:57 pm - All the reruns you could ever want, but just this one episode
So does everyone have this thing where there's a show you don't watch (assuming you have a TV) but every time you turn on the TV and that show is on, it's the same episode you've only ever seen. (It's a bit like the early days of HBO where you could watch Dragonslayer 19 times a day for years.)
Anyway, this is me with first part of the Star Trek TNG episode where Picard gets all Borged. (not to be confused with Borgesed) I don't think I've ever seen the second half and the number of other episodes I've watched is tiny.
And you?
|
|
|
